The Absurdly Ersatz Christianity of Pete Hegseth
Trump & Co. double down on blasphemy.
"Power always sincerely, conscientiously, believes itself right. Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak and that it is doing God's service when it is violating all His laws... I may be deceived as much as any of them when I say that power must never be trusted without a check." - John Adams, letter to Thomas Jefferson 1816 (Hat tip: Julian Zelizer)
In a week when Trump compared himself to Jesus Christ and we learned that RFK, Jr. once cut the penis off a dead raccoon, and JD Vance tried to lecture the Pope on theology, the competition for Most Bizarre WTF Story is quite stiff.
But Pete Hegseth wants us to know that he’s a contender. And he has multiple entries.
Happy Friday.
The Bizarre Mr. Hegseth
ICYMI, The Right Reverend and Most Christian Secretary of War once again compared his boss to Jesus Christ — while attacking the press as Pharisees. At a Pentagon “worship service,” the former Fox News weekend co-host shared his Deep Thoughts:
“This past Sunday, I was sitting in church with my family, and our minister preached from the Book of Mark, the third chapter, and in the passage, Jesus entered a synagogue and healed a man with a withered hand. The Pharisees came to watch,”
“As the scripture reads, they came to see whether he, Jesus, would heal him, or he would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse him,”
“You see, the Pharisees, the so-called and self-appointed elites of their time, they were there to witness, to write everything down, to report, but their hearts were hardened, even though they witnessed a literal miracle. It didn’t matter. They were only there to explain away the goodness in pursuit of their agenda,” Hegseth went on.
“I sat there in church and I thought, our press are just like these Pharisees, not all of you, not all of you, but the legacy Trump-hating press,” Hegseth complained.
**
But, my friends, this was not his most bizarre moment. Not even close.
For that, we turn to Hegseth’s prayer, which he said he got from the “Sandy 1” combat search and rescue (CSAR) mission in Iran — and which Hegseth said was based on Ezekiel 25:17.
The problem? The prayer Hegseth recited was clearly ripped from Samuel L. Jackson’s monologue from 1994’s “Pulp Fiction” in which he plays a hitman who is about to shoot a man to death.
The side-by-side videos of Hegseth and Jackson are chef’s kiss things of beauty and a joy forever.
**
Go ahead, compare and contrast:
Here’s Hegseth’s “prayer”:
“The path of the downed aviator is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men,” Hegseth said in part. “Blessed is he who, in the name of camaraderie and duty, shepherds the lost through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to capture and destroy my brother, and you will know my call sign is Sandy 1 when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”
Here’s Jackson as the “Pulp Fiction” hitman:
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men,” he says. “Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee. And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.”
Perhaps coincidentally, shortly after Hegseth’s remarks, Pope Leo XIV posted: “Woe to those who manipulate religion and the very name of God for their own military, economic, and political gain, dragging that which is sacred into darkness and filth.”
As of this morning the Pope’s post had more than 9 million views.
Exit take: “No greater metaphor for this entire week than Pete Hegseth quoting a fake Bible verse from the movie Pulp Fiction to Pentagon staff.” — Mike Nellis on X.
Trump & Co. Double Down on Blasphemy
Perhaps you are sensing a pattern here. Let’s rewind the last few weeks.
There was this: Pastor likens Trump's experiences to Jesus at White House Easter lunch
Then on Easter Sunday itself, Trump posted:
"Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the F------ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah."
The next day, he posted:
“A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again,” he wrote.
Then came the attack on the Pope, followed by his AI-generated Trump-as-Jesus post. “Trump slams Pope Leo as ‘weak’ and posts picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick.”
After a backlash, Trump removed that post but then posted another AI image of himself with Jesus.
**
But it’s not just the memes.
Susan Glasser writes that Trump now thinks he is the Orange Jesus and plans to build gargantuan monuments to his greatness.
The point is simply this: in Trump 1.0, Orange Jesus was a snarky shorthand for the hypocrisy of Republicans who knew better but joined up with the cult of Trump anyway.
In Trump 2.0, Trump. thinks he has actually become Orange Jesus.
How else to explain the President’s many otherwise inexplicable acts since returning to office? The gilding of the White House to resemble a profane copy of the Vatican, the ever more baroque lies, the slapping his name on everything, and, perhaps most of all, the repeated reminders that our leader recognizes no earthly limits on his power as he wages war in the Middle East and speaks of conquering other lands. “There is one thing,” he told the Times, in January. “My own morality. My own mind. It’s the only thing that can stop me.” …
On Thursday, a federal commission stacked with Trump appointees voted to approve the President’s plans for a triumphal arch on the National Mall, modelled on those built by Napoleon and the Roman emperors to celebrate their military victories. At two hundred and fifty feet tall, it would be the biggest such structure in the world. Asked last fall by CBS News’ Ed O’Keefe what this modern-day arch was meant to commemorate, Trump pointed to himself and replied, “Me.”
Finally, Glasser includes this historical coda:
The folly of the ancient Roman emperors springs to mind here. History has not judged kindly their demand that their subjects not only build great arches in their honor but that they literally worship their rulers as Dominus et Deus, Lord and God.
Those imperial cults of personality, and many of their monuments, lasted no longer than the short period of their rule.
Trump may scar our beautiful capital with golden memorials to himself, but how long, really, will it last, this tacky reign of a President who styles himself a MAGA god?
My contrarian view:
Despite the eye-rolling blasphemy and cringey defenses, we ought to welcome this fight because it forces the faithful to clarify the meaning, heart, and soul of Christianity. And to take stock of the radically different versions of what it means to be a Christian, and a decent person.
Even non-Catholics ought to be asking themselves:
Who sounds more like the Jesus of the Gospels? The ranting Trump? The bloody Hegseth with his fake bible quotes? The smugly revisionist JD Vance?
Or the Pope from Chicago, who says: “Jesus is the King of Peace, who… does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them”?
ICYMI
I joined Christianity Today’s “Bulletin” podcast yesterday to discuss “Hungary’s Hopeful Election, Congressional Resignations, and Trump's AI Blasphemy.”
Friday dogs
Our French dog Zok is still wondering what’s going on over here?
I'm with Zok.
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