The Most Embarrassing Person in Washington is...

RFK Jr., Tulsi, Kash, Karoline Leavitt, Zuck, Ronjon, or...

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” — H.L. Mencken.

I admit that Mencken’s prophecy is an oldie — hoary with age and overuse. But, damn, it seems worth re-upping today, doesn’t it?

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Who is America’s Most Embarrassing Man?

Or woman?

Lordy, the competition is stiff. And the front-runners change hourly, almost kaleidoscopically, as charlatans, freaks, morons, and the generally absurd elbow one another aside in our ongoing competition of self-humiliation.

I am, of course referring to Robert F. Kennedy Jr.,. But not exclusively.

Trump's Day of Chaos

The most charmless of the Kennedy clan set the bar of ignominy high Wednesday with a performance that is charitably described as “rocky.”

Confronted by his vast trove of addled idiocies, Kennedy weaseled, dodged, and occasionally flat out lied. Several times he denied saying batshit crazy things that he said on tape; and was confronted with his own words. The implication hung heavy that the worst of the conspiracy theories and reckless bits of lunacy were the fault of the brain worms, not the man tapped to run a $2 trillion agency.

But it got even worse.

As became painfully obvious over the course of the hearing, Kennedy clearly did not have the slightest clue about the differences between Medicare and Medicaid, and the depth of his ignorance about the nation’s health care system was genuinely mind-melting. Consider his answers to questions from Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.). Notes Politico:

Cassidy is a doctor. He knows a lot about health care. He’s more moderate than most Senate Republicans. And, as a member of the Finance Committee and the chair of the Senate HELP committee, which will hold its own confirmation hearing tomorrow, Cassidy could potentially sink the nomination.

And the man Donald Trump has chosen to preside over this vast health care system? How fared this remnant of the Kennedy dynasty on a January day in the nation’s capital?

In response to Cassidy’s questions, Kennedy looked and sounded exactly like someone in a cold sweat nightmare trying to take an exam for a course he didn’t know he was enrolled in.

**

At this point, I have to confess that my schadenfreude has lasted for more than four hours….

But even so, RFK was not necessarily the most embarrassing person in DC. He’s not even the most embarrassing member of Trump’s cabinet of puppy killers and rapey chodes. He will fit right in.¹

In fact, Kennedy may not even have been the most embarrassing man in the hearing room. He got stiffish competition from the GOP senators simping for his nonsense. And then there was my old friend, Ron Johnson, who declared that RFK’s nomination “was the answer to my – and millions of other Americans' – prayers.”

So, yes, I’m embarrassed by the guy.

**

Also in the embarrassment sweepstakes: Trump’s new press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, who bumbled her first day so spectacularly that she got a federal judge to issue a temporary restraining order against the administration’s sweeping spending freeze order.

The federal funding freeze never rested on anything approaching firm legal footing, so when the administration swiftly issued a retraction before Judge McConnell of the District of Rhode Island was set to hear the matter, that seemed to be the end of this farcical episode. But it was actually the beginning of an even dumber legal strategy that has now imploded like one of Elon’s rockets.

All because the new White House Press Secretary decided to head to social media to brag that the administration would never back down and appears to have accidentally admitted that the administration was trying to defraud the court all along.

Oh really? said the judge.

**

I’m not sure that “embarrassing” is quite the word for this. In the wake of yesterday’s tragedy at DCA, Trump felt the need to weigh in. Because he’s Trump.

**

But how in the annals of self-abasement do we top the latest grovel from the world’s richest beta castrato?

“[Mark Zuckerberg] said Wednesday [he] would pay $25 million to settle a four-year-old lawsuit from President Donald Trump over the social media company’s decision to suspend Trump’s accounts after the Jan. 6, 2021, riot at the U.S. Capitol.”

FFS, man.

Nota Bene:

Don Moynihan: “Compelling Mass Civil Servant Resignations Will Create Chaos.”

To be clear: employees are not being offered a buyout or severance package. They would be offering to resign in September, and until then enjoy an exemption from in-person work and an uncertain possibility of less work for the last few months of their job.

For media, it is important not to report this as a buyout and severance package, since this might mislead federal employees who have to make a big decision, and the public watching them do it. Don’t adopt misleading framing pushed by the White House!

…

Whatever the offer means for federal employees, it is unquestionably bad for you as a member of the public. To extend the Twitter-as-government metaphor: Musk’s X costs less than Twitter, but who actually thinks it is a better experience, apart from the far right and bot-enthusiasts? It no longer pretends to serve everyone, but instead has been converted into a vessel for Musk and his cronies to force feed their increasingly radical views to users. If you don’t like it, at least you can leave. Many have, including myself. But with government, we don’t really have that option. Lower administrative capacity affects us all.

The Mice in Winter

**

Olivia Troye: “Unfit for Duty: the Grave National Security Risk of Kash Patel Leading the FBI.”

As you receive this, I am on Capitol Hill for the confirmation hearing for FBI Director nominee Kash Patel. As you may know, Kash and I have a little history. We worked together in the past, and he recently made legal threats against me for speaking the truth about him. I want to share with you today some more details about that history….

It is my strong belief that Mr. Patel’s potential nomination raises two critical questions:

• Can the United States Senate assure the American people that he is the best candidate to lead the FBI during an era of heightened threats both foreign and domestic?

• How many career special agents will be fired or transferred from their post for having simply performed their jobs following his confirmation as part of a retribution plan of ensuring loyalty to one man? And who will fill those roles?

Winter dogs

Six years ago today we were in the midst of a polar vortex. Even the dogs had to dress for the cold. They didn’t really like it.

1. The day before his confirmation hearing, his cousin, Caroline Kennedy wrote a letter to senators, describing RFK as a “predator.”

She urged lawmakers questioning Mr. Kennedy at his confirmation hearings Wednesday and Thursday to reject his nomination. She cited his lack of experience, misinformed views on vaccines and personal attributes. In the letter, she described how he led other family members “down the path of drug addiction.”

“His basement, his garage, and his dorm room were the centers of the action where drugs were available, and he enjoyed showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in the blender to feed his hawks,” Ms. Kennedy wrote. “It was often a perverse scene of despair and violence.”

In Trump’s Washington, this is probably little more than a speed bump.